Thanks Bro for letting me rage

Coon and Yogi are the best. Well, actually only Coon, just for letting me rage, and not questioning everything. Just think about it, Yogi gave me shitty advise, in my opinion at least. But maybe he is right maybe not. I’ll note Coon’s convo with me first, because he just made me cry and actually put my feelings down.

 

Stralend – gisteren om 23:03
sry for being so shitty btw, long story short, bf broke up cuz he’s dealing with shit

And I can fucking understand it AND I FUCKING WANT TO HELP AND I DON”T CARE CUZ I LOVE HIM BUT NOPE

The Dark Coon – gisteren om 23:04
figured that out

Stralend – gisteren om 23:04
good

The Dark Coon – gisteren om 23:04
from the mood swings and the lack of not mentioning him

its ok im just being an ass x.x

Stralend – gisteren om 23:04
it’s fine

I’m just so sad

The Dark Coon – gisteren om 23:05
thought maybe it would help <_< ya know send that rage at me and stuff

Stralend – gisteren om 23:05
I mean, I know he probarbly loves me, that’s the hardest part, and I get what he means and that he is not ready BUT I FUCKING DON”T WANT TO DEAL WITH IT

I WANT TO BE HAPPY
BUT EVERY TIME
EVERY TIME SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENS
TO ME
WITHINT THE SLIGHTEST MOMENT
IT’S DESTROYED
NO MATTER WHAT I DO
ALWAYS ME
cries
How hard is it for the world to let me happy
I live for my friends, Jay isn’t rid of me, no we’re still friends. I’ll support him cuz that’s how I am,
It’s so hard, because I FUCKING KNOW HE IS RIGHT,
I want him to be happy over everything.
BUT NO
;-;
I can’t help him
He knows I will always be there for him, no matter what, I fucking will hide my feelings. never letting go
Isn’t it mean life never gives me good shit
;-;
I found a person that understood me and saw how I was,
But I just see him go through shit
And I can’t help
And thats killing me
Not being able to help the person you love
I can only watch from the side
AND JUST ARGGGGHHH

The Dark Coon – gisteren om 23:09
lol

-hug-

Stralend – gisteren om 23:10
thanks >.<

The Dark Coon – gisteren om 23:10
funny because thats how everyone feels about their love ones

XD being helpless while they struggle going through shit

Stralend – gisteren om 23:10
The sad part is

I know exactely what he’s going thruogh
Because I’ve been in a similar situation myself
But Pengi dragged me out of it. I don’t know how she did it. But she did

The Dark Coon – gisteren om 23:11
lol

well just wait on the sideline and be there ;o all you can reallydo

Stralend – gisteren om 23:11
I was at the point I’d had the idea just killing myself, or running away

The Dark Coon – gisteren om 23:12
:^) same

except running away
too much work

Stralend – gisteren om 23:12
I’d have probarbly pull off the running away if it wasn’t for Pengi

I had a whole plan
taking a tent with me
and everything
She’s the only reason I stayed
And she doesn’t know

The Dark Coon – gisteren om 23:13
wow

so fuck me right
>:/ dont say you didnt know me

Stralend – gisteren om 23:13
lmao

I didn’t

The Dark Coon – gisteren om 23:13
I WAS IN YOUR HEART ALREADY

AND DREAMS
YOU KNEW ME
;W;

Stralend – gisteren om 23:13
;-;

The Dark Coon – gisteren om 23:13
</3

Stralend – gisteren om 23:13

The Dark Coon – gisteren om 23:13
LOL

Stralend – gisteren om 23:13
Maybe I did

who knows

The Dark Coon – gisteren om 23:13
😛 doubt

Stralend – gisteren om 23:13
We’ll never know

The Dark Coon – gisteren om 23:13
<_< mmhmmm

-_- im watching you

Stralend – gisteren om 23:14
I know you are

I’m grateful for you having my back 😛

The Dark Coon – gisteren om 23:14
wtf

o.o who said i had your back
maybe like your left ankle or  or wrist
<_<

Stralend – gisteren om 23:14
fine >_>

Coon, he just knows what I needed to do. It’s amazing. He doesn’t show it, but he is amazing. Supporting me and “hating” on me whenever he wants to, from the most random times, and the most hateful arguements we have. Yeah, we argued a lot, more than I actually argued with my sister the past 2 years. It’s insane. But yeah, I have weird friends like that.
Yogi on the other side, he just wants to give a piece of advise, but sometimes, I dunno. He doesn’t know that much, sometimes I even think he’s very much wrong so, I just have the feeling I don’t know the real Yogi sometimes. I never even got a respond on the last thing I responded, I dunno what to think of it..

Stralend – gisteren om 15:52
Call me when you see this

YogiMC1 – gisteren om 17:41
What

Stralend – gisteren om 18:03
I am so fucking sad

YogiMC1 – gisteren om 18:03
Why

Stralend – gisteren om 18:03
Jay decided he couldn’t handle a relationship yet even thought he could. And more reasons I’m aware off

And I know he’s right, and it kills me from the inside.

YogiMC1 – gisteren om 18:04
It will be ok atleast he’s not dating someone else after saying that

Stralend – gisteren om 18:04
STILL

I’m not OK RIGHT NOW

YogiMC1 – gisteren om 18:05
You better than most people

Stralend – gisteren om 18:05
what you mean

Jay was crying himself cuz he just I dunno, when he told me. And I’m just destroyed from the inside right now.

YogiMC1 – gisteren om 18:06
Y’all will get through this

Stralend – gisteren om 18:06
Yogi I’m not saying I won’t

I’m just so very so so sad
sad cuz he broke up with me
sad cuz he’s not feeling well, and I just want to support him, you know?
As friend
AND ARGGG

YogiMC1 – gisteren om 18:20
it will be ok dear

Stralend – gisteren om 18:27
D:

It wont Yogi

YogiMC1 – gisteren om 18:28
star ive been through this before -_-

Stralend – gisteren om 18:28
It took me 2 years to get over my crush lmao

YogiMC1 – gisteren om 18:28
im still not over mine

Stralend – gisteren om 18:28
I only got over it cuz I started talking more to Jay

He’s funny, great sense of humor, serious at the right times, he wants to listen, making me smile by just talking to me…
;-;

I just don;t know. Yes it’s true what I wrote to Yogi, but people don’t understand me. I don’t have the idea Yogi does. I know Coon does, Pengi does, even my sister does. And it’s frustrating. I know YOgi cares about me, I care about him as a friend. But Sometimes I just feel like all we do is smalltalk. 

On the bright side, I think I’ll just continue on my story right now. Maybe it will finally get on the ground, so I will maybe get more than 10 pages haha. 

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