Feelings

You know, I’m not the best in expression my feelings. I’ve nearly always avoid the phrase “I love you” with like friends, even though they told me countless times. I just felt like that I just wanted to use it for sometimes, to really express my feelings. And I at least know there is one person who is also having a hard job with this.

I still remember Pengi telling me she loved me. I dunno in what way, but only that she deleted her message on skype afterwards, hoping that I wouldn’t have seen it, but which I did. This is one of these special moments I mean, for people that deepy care about you, for people who deserve it to know you love them.

A long time ago, I think 1-2 years or so, Yogi always told me when I left, “goodbye Star love you”, and then more as friends I mean and I just never said something like that back. Back then I was really avoiding saying it. When I got to know I could rely on Yogi and such, I told him like at the end of gaming with friends, “love you too.” He was so over the top of that, because I’d never said it before. I guess that made me realise it’s still a special phrase, but the meaning depends on how you say it, and to whom you say it. 

Come to the part, I just don’t really know how to express feelings that well. I mean, I know you should probarbly tell friends how much you care about them every now and while, but it shouldn’t be over the top. It’s something that comes and goes I guess. For me the phrase “I love you” will still be special and I will definitely  mean it when I say it. It’s more special that way, since I don’t know why I would say it all times, for me it would lose the meaning if I would just say it to everyone, but except as in repeating it to someone you really love as in my sister or boyfriend, even though I know my sister will most likely not accept it if I say that, she knows I care about her.

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